Saturday, May 29, 2010

THE DAY THE MUSIC DIDN'T DIE


What is death?

Do we really know? The answer is...no. Or rather, we know what happens to the body after death but not (for a fact) if there is a god or any sort of after life etc. My slice of philosophy about that is this.

We don't know, there is no proof so just everyone keep your theories to yourself until you get some ok!

But apart from that, we all die. We all get old, and then we all die. No one regardless of wealth, sex, race or status is exempt from this. We will also get sick. Most people get old, sick and then die.

Now, I have thought about how I should approach this topic and decided that I could be very negative, or very positive. I've decided to be positive but...I just want to get all that negi of my chest first. Game? OK.

Famous people, actors, singers etc are usually famous because they have a talent but also because they are unique in a way. Some people don't like that uniqueness and so they get slagged off and picked on, still no press is bad press so they get famous.

...then they die and everyone forgets about the bad stuff and the fact that they took the piss and starts to love them and goes on about how wonderful they were.

Case in point, MTV...fucking hypocrites. After the king of pop, popped they aired special tributes day in day out including these two logos replacing their usual.


Yet right up until the day before he died they played this advert, day in, day out.



How a tune can change eh? I mean, we all remember it so...

And do I even need to go into Jade "Shilpa Poppadom … Shilpa Fuckawala" Goody. For those of you who don't know who this is, I'll just give you some quotes of hers to sum her up:

  • "Do they speak Portuganese in Portugal? I thought Portugal was in Spain."
  • "Rio de Janeiro, ain't that a person?"
  • "I knew Lynne was from Aberdeen, but I didn't realise Aberdeen was in Scotland."
  • "Has Greece got its own moon?"

And a summary of her career.

  • Big Brother
  • Racist bigot
  • Chav
  • Stupid
  • Hated
  • Cancer
  • Public hero
  • Loved
  • Dead


And so onto our recent dead guys and a bit of a positive note, at least I hope you'll see it as one.

RONNIE JAMES DIO
PETER STEELE
PAUL GRAY


In my honest opinion. Never got into Slipknot, never knew his name up until a few days ago. Read a lot about them and that works for me. Neutral opinion.



Loved Type-O and Pete, was genuinely upset.



Dio - haven't listened to him since I was a kid when I had and loved the "Sacred Heart" album. I was however one of the few people who tried to explain to the kids back when "The Osbournes" was all the rage and they were bashing on him that they might have loved The Sabs with Ozzy but Dio fucking saved that band at the time. Other than that, Holy Diver was the anthem for all the Swedish "t-shirt rockers" and might as well have been a Britney tune for all I cared. The poor bloke was little, bald, notoriously egotistical and very outdated. Still, a legend. None, not even I can deny it.

BUT....(and here comes the posi I promised)

When you do good works, create great music THAT IS TIMELESS. The person might be dead, the body, the flesh might be dead but the music will live on. The ideas, the influence, the words, the passion, that will never die. This is the good thing about artistic outputs. If you think about it Why do people want to be famous? Is it because of the money and the fame or to be remembered years after your death.

100s of years from now there could still be a young kid that picks up a Slipknot, Dio or Type-O album and gets truly moved by it, so much so that their life changes.

Think about that...

Now, who wants bets on the next one, I've got 2-1 on Pete Doherty or Amy Winehouse.

Friday, May 28, 2010

FUCK YOU AND YOUR BLOG - I AM BATMAN!

Good day fukkos!

Once again it's time for me to slag off people who are more popular than me because I'm secretly jealous and feel that my awesome intellect and wit is more deserving.

Some said that my recent overview of Sweden's most popular blogs was a little one sided and unfair. I mean just because on that particular day they had fuck all to talk about apart from what they ate, watched, bought or wore doesn't mean they are shallow or not real, interesting three dimensional characters. So, in an attempt to be a bit more popular today I will once again see what they have been up to and try to do the same.

Are you sitting comfortably? Good, then we'll begin.

So....BLONDINBELLA has had an exciting morning. She woke up at 6am and did some cleaning HERSELF! This was before her cleaner came. Phew that was lucky eh! I know how it feels when you're sat about waiting for the cleaner trying to do it yourself.

Well, now she feels grown up. Well done you. Later she will cook, but not alone, no, with two friends. The three of them together might be able to fix a meal together. And she thanks everyone that complimented her hair.

NO ONE complimented my hair yesterday despite how awesome it is!!! LOOK!


NEXT!

FOKI took some pictures of herself. One with her sister...

OK, that was it. Have I missed something? If I do this once a day can I be popular? Ok, let's try.



MARIA MONTAZAMI gets my fave today...a picture of a candelabra in front of a picture of the ten commandments...50 comments so far. OK, lets do that...


I had a look round but I couldn't find the 10 commandments so I used a kids recipe for popcorn. Well, it had 10 steps.

***

I missed out on a few blogs last time, one is "Sweden's most popular blogger" Kissie, which in Sweden means "to piss". The reason I missed out Sweden's most popular blog last time is that she is SO popular that when I Googled "Sweden's most popular bloggers" she wasn't there.

Anyway KISSIE is thinking about changing her hair but it will cost her 10,000 kronor (that's about 1000 euro). Hmmm, and I thought these girls were shallow, turns out they do have real problems.

Should I change my hair?



STOCKHOLM STREET STYLE got overlooked last time also. I've actually got nothing to bitch about this one, she just goes round and takes pictures of various fashion shows. But I thought it would be fun to bring you...

BORÅS STREET STYLE


INGRID - SHOES: Socks With Sandals. BAG: Systembolaget, 1984. ACCESSORIES: Gucci crutch.


OSKAR - All in one black outfit with shades. White socks. BAG: Ica canvas, Ica.


IVOR - JACKET: Myronas. BAG: Ica, the ICA Collection.


PONTUS - Shirt with gold jumper combo. Off-white pants.

ANDERS - Bingo hall.



Until next time...

FUCK YOU, I AM BATMAN!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

THE ELK SELLS OUT!

In an attempt to make more blog more popular I've scoured the Sweden's most popular blogs today and thought if I did something similar instead of the usual political or musical based rants I might get somewhere up there on the top blogs list.

O.K, BLONDINBELLA wrote that she came home, what she watched on TV, what she watched, what she ate and what she'll do tomorrow...ummm and a picture of her on the phone...OK, I can do that.

Well, today I watched The Simpsons....I ate some Frosties, one bowl without milk because I'd ran out so I used cheese instead, I think I also had some soup this morning. Ummm, tomorrow I will go to school. Here is me on the phone...


I couldn't find my phone so I used the remote...hope it worked.

***

OK. next is KENZA...she has bought some shorts and there is a picture of her ass in them, OK, I can do that...I bought my shorts from the H&M sale last winter...here they are.



***

FOKI today has been training in "Afro Power Dance"....yup that was her blog today, that and a pic...56 comments. Ok, well today I did think about doing some press ups... here is me training.


***

Let's see, Sweden's own ambassador Maria Montazami has taken her daughter shopping for prom dresses...I can't top that because I don't have a daughter....so I'll just find some "toffs" instead, and put them on things.


...I would have done more but I got bored.

AM I POPULAR YET?!?

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

TALES FROM THE STAGESIDE pt6


DROPKICK MURPHYS

Y'know, every now and again comes a gig that you just fukkin' love to work for, and Dropkick Murphys were certainly one of them!

For once, although we didn't realise it at the time the band didn't have a road crew as such, just a few friends helping out and mostly did their own roadie work. I've got to admit that before this gig I wasn't 100% familiar with DM's music, after the show I was an instant fan!

It was a kick-ass four-band bill, I spent most of my day hanging out with the guys from the band Deadly Sins who were totally funny, had such a laugh with them just hanging out, playing Frisbee in the empty hall, quoting Spinal Tap (as usual) and all that sort of thing.

Those guys put on a totally great show too!



The first band was Year Long Disaster - who I guess were a bit out of place as they were not in the slightest bit punk, just kind of a rock band who might have been good in another setting.


You see as far as audiences go this was certainly the best I had ever seen, they were the earliest, the most mixed crazies, the drunkest, the loudest and the most into it I had ever witnessed. Although my working crew contained myself (who is Cornish, raised in Somerset), guys from Scotland and guys from Ireland. Y'know, guys who really were from "the motherland" and not just Boston who maybe had a Celtic relative somewhere down the line.

People showed up in "kilts" (actually just tartan dresses), people showed up with the English flag (umm....nope!) there were skins and all the rest.

One maniacal skin put himself right at the front, arms gripped onto the barrier and wouldn't let anyone near him. Halfway through DM's he passed out. Puff.

The Accidents played, a cool Swedish band who's drummer rivals Marky Ramone for high-hat speed. Fantastic stuff, loved them!


When DM's came on the place exploded with madness, people threw themselves all over the place, there were many (planned) stage invasions and the atmosphere was incredible. At the end of the show was a large pile of shoes, hats, coats and so on - more than I have ever seen.


I've always had this theory you see. If you go into the pit...do up your laces, and wear a belt....and really, really, really....a shirt!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

KATE PERRY ENLIGHTENS US ON OUR SEXUALITY

I actually never knew this...many might have suspected it for a few years but you know what, now I can confirm it.

I AM GAY!


Now I have the proof via the wisdom and "checklist" of Kate Perry. You see she wrote this enlightened and insightful poem to music called "UR SO GAY" (I think "UR" means "you are" and not the Swedish education channel).

So the poetic check list is a bit like this:

I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
You don’t eat meat
And drive electrical cars
You’re so indie rock it’s almost an art
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive

You’re so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal
You’re so skinny you should really Super Size the deal
Secretly you’re so amused
That nobody understands you
I’m so mean cause I cannot get you outta your head
I’m so angry cause you’d rather MySpace instead
I can’t believe I fell in love with someone that wears more make up than...



So...if I have a look down this check list I must be a lover of men. Sorry I have to break this to my girlfriend...

~ I have bought a scarf from H&M, they were very cheap, on sale in fact, in fact because they were on sale you could even say that H&M (one of Sweden's largest worldwide clothing store branches) promotes homosexuality. Good on them, go H&M! Although once I bought it I wasn't that much more attracted to men...maybe it took a few more things.

~ I've know that I've listened to Mozart. As far as I'm aware I've never masturbated while listening to him. I much prefer Status Quo for that sort of thing. So as far as I know this may or may not qualify me as a homosexual. I'm not sure if you actually have to be masturbating and listening to Mozart at the same time. Heaven forbid they should play some at a gay club or at a gay pride march, imagine the mess!

~ Hemingway is one of my favorite authors. Actually a few weeks ago my entire literature class did a paper on Hemingway...AND it was raining. Thus turning the whole glass gay in one moment.


~ Well, I don't eat meat. Neither do a whole lot of my friends, or my girlfriend. We probably never knew it but we're all gay as Elton John at a Kylie concert. If we had some bacon would we suddenly feel the need to revert to our heterosexual past? No idea. With this in mind it makes every member of PETA and several punk bands also gay.

~ I had to Google SPF-45. It's sun protection. Hmmm, pretty gay!

~ Now, I haven't had a happy meal since I was a very young kid, or a super size and I guess I'm quite skinny. I could do to lose a few more inches though, but if I do does my gayness increase? Is my gayness proportionate to my size? In fact is the phrase "a big fat gay" an oxymoron?

~ Myspace, check. Actually I run a bunch of Myspace sites, a personal one, a club one, a Dharma Punx one, and a fake Pirate Party one. I would rather go on these than shag Kate Perry...again. Gay as toast.

~ I don't wear make up. So this is my one heterosexual feature.


So using the formula:

GAY -

AFI
ASSUCK
CONFLICT
DROP DEAD
EARTH CRISIS
FALL OF EFRAFA
FREYA
GATHER
GOOD CHARLOTTE
MOBY
OI POLLOI
PROMOE
RIPCHORD (actually I lived with the singer of Ripchord for a bit, he was shagging my house mate...bet she never knew he was secretly a gay!)
RISE AGAINST
SAGE FRANCIS
VEGAN REICH
ANDRE 3000
ALANIS MORISETTE
ANDY DICK
ASHLEY JUDD
BB.KING (never saw that one coming!)
BILLY IDOL

And the biggest gay couple ever...

PAUL & LINDA MCARTNEY!

oh and Lisa from The Simpsons


Now, Kate Perry herself has said that she didn't mean "gay" in a homophobic way, but in the modern slang way...which is guess means "everything bad". As famous real gay Simon Amstell beautifully put it

"If you disagree you can just Jew off, honestly stop being so Black about it..."

TALES FROM THE STAGESIDE pt5


CLUB EMPIRE IN RUINS 2007-2009

A bit of a deviation today because I'm not going to be talking about any huge celeb bands but a small underground pocket that existed for a few years.

When moving to Stockholm I really missed a punk scene like we had in the UK, the whole "togetherness" was kind of missing. It was there in some form but for me it was pretty hard to "get in" to it. In the UK there were countless pockets of kids who had nothing in their own town so they found a place to put on gigs and a scene was formed, there was not much like that here I could find. Club Who Killed Marilyn was one small punk club that did some excellent stuff, there was also an great free-space outside of the city called Fulersta which I experienced a few times, that was amazing.

Between 2007-2009 because I missed something I did what everyone should do when they miss something from their lives....make it happen yourself! So I hunted out a small venue and started a small club.

After setting up a Myspace for the place and after having a few gigs I found myself flooded with mails from bands. Given the current climate in trend a lot of them were not what I was looking for, far too many slow, boring Creed/Nickleback types or young glam rockers. I wanted to have just the stuff I like - underground rock, punk, hardcore, thrash, grindcore - the good stuff.

And we had some great bands and some good times - here are just a few pictures from the adventures, I took none of these myself so if it is yours that I pinched. Sorry/tough.



GHOST MICE - from the USA. Wow, really wow! One of the best bands I have ever had the pleasure of working with or experiencing. Acoustic-punk, they showed up at the venue with nothing but an acoustic guitar, a violin and a suitcase full of merch. They used no sound equipment, didn't need to sound check and didn't even want to use the stage. They just stood on the floor, had people gather round them and played a set of heart-felt and funny tunes. It was a truly magical experience. Spent most of the night back at my place sat up chatting.


CRUST DIVISION - from Brazil came on tour with friends Korrozoa (also from Brazil). Amazing thrashy crust-core bands that just blew away the gathered audience. The band stayed with me for a few days, their guitarist got some kind of allergic reaction a few days before and was sick beyond capability. Most of their visit was spent with me at the hospital, so memorable but for another reason! They were however AWESOME!


THE CRACK BABIES - Just the name sold me. But this super-young band from Stockholm were more than just that. I believe that they were so young the drummer was still at school - certainly full of all the right stuff. It was the first time I saw skinheads show up at the club though, we had no security (although it wasn't rare for me to grab trouble makers myself and "escort" them out) but a bunch of skins....ooooo no thanks. Luckily they were the "good kind" (SHARP). There was also a guy in a wheelchair in the pit.


OHWEBE - We had these guys a bunch of times, in fact since singer/bassist Johan played bass in my own band he played more times than anyone else. This young band were one of my faves to watch - fantastic kinda Johnny Cash meets early Hellacopters. Last year they released their first full album "Heartbreaker Heartbroken" - go get!


VISION - We had these as a support band to American "legend" (his own words) ADAM BOMB, the first and sadly last time I will ever dabble in some glammy hair metal. Adam Bomb was the worst guest I ever had, he tours a lot and I say to any promoter who gets a mail from him...don't book him. Ungrateful, respect less, childlike, idiot, wanker. Ok so he's played with all the big names but it's just inflated his ego to the point where he doesn't realise that he's playing the shit dumps for a reason. VISION on the other hand were sadly pushed to the side because my time was spent trying to keep Adam from throwing all of his toys out of his pram. Sad because these girls were totally nice and a great band - right now they are on the rise and a damn sight more rocking than some other girl-bands I don't care to mention (again).


LUCIEN - my band, we played a bunch of times. No one else would book us.


ZOMBIE SPACE PIRATES - Oh yes, who else would you get for a Halloween gig! Psycho-Billy excellentness complete with zombie make up, one of the most entertaining bands around. Also at this show was DRAGSTRIP JESUS who blew the place away and HEADED FOR DISASTER who also played in excellent fancy dress complete with zombie cheerleaders. Kick ass!


SUPRAGOD - One of the many great garage/rock bands we had under the time. Think Gluecifer, Hellacopters, that kind of thing - Simply great stuff and I love this pic! I don't think they missed a beat.



315 BOWERY - Another one of the great garage/rock bands - a wonderful live show, peppered with great covers of Turbonegro, The Stooges, Hellacopters and all that good stuff. Singer/guitarist Elias is an old buddy of mine who works as a poster boy for Live Nation (who I worked for) and runs Klubb Gås in Stockholm which rocks! Totally nice guy, I'd like to keep him as a pet.




SINICESS - I think I listed them as "Dead Moon meets L7 at an early CBGB's fight with The Stooges". Throw in a little bit of Babes In Toyland, Red Aunts and Huggy Bear and you got it. This band have also just released a new album worth checking out. I actually saw their singer here in Borås this week at a bar - hope to have them come play for us soon!



DIGRESSION ASSASSINS - ummm, fuck! I've seen this band a bunch of times and each time wished that I had no understanding of music. It baffles me. I think they call it "mathcore" y'know those bands like Dillinger Escape Plan, Locust, Daughters that just fly round eclectic time changes and impossible breaks. To see how the musicians work together is like to watch true artists creating, I have no idea how they remember what comes next! It's superb. This band need more recognition than they have so far.



MR.DEATH - ex-members of Tiamat and Septic Grave, their bassist even played together with Nicke Andersson in one of his early punk bands. These guys were like early Entombed, true Swedish death metal stuff! They recorded even at Sunlight Studios...of course.


MINDSLIP - played some excellent death/thrash. Complete competent musicians if ever I saw.

Well, that was the club. I put it to bed when I moved away, it was fun, we had some good times (apart from when Adam Bomb played) and it was just to start another when I moved away. below are all the flyers- enjoy!














Sharez it fukko!