Saturday, July 31, 2010

MEET YOUR MEAT

Friday, July 30, 2010

BANDS YOU MUST HEAR: pt1 - FUGAZI


I love Fugazi.

If you do not know who the band FUGAZI are then today your mission is to find out, find some music to listen to, possibly watch some stuff online and then find out who Jem Cohen is and dig his work too.

You will not regret this adventure today.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

MY NEW BOOK - OUT NOW!


My new book is finally out! It's called "Second Place Heroes" and it's about the band I played for between 1998-2003 who were called MR.ZIPPY.

The reason I released this was because I think it's a great story of some friends from a small town that fought upstream and did something. We never took over the world but we did get out of our town and all round the country, to Japan, to Norway and released albums etc.

It also touches on many other punk bands and just a whole celebration of the scene we had at the time and what we did with it - how we grew, and where we fell.

You can buy it HERE - I hope you do!

ARE YOU SURE IT'S BEEN MADE YET?

All last week (and some of this) I have been talking about movies - thought I'd share with y'all a few movies that have not been made yet that I'm looking forward to!

Two films which in one way include or link author/artist Wendy Pani. Firstly because she was the creator of ELFQUEST which has been rumoured to come out as a movies for a while now. Think this is going to be an animated venture.


Wendy Pani also wrote a book about how for many years she tried to animate a movie based on Micheal Moorcock's ELRIC books.

It's been talked about for many years now but in a few years we might see some proof of it moving towards at least starting. Being a super-dark a super tragic fantasy I think they were waiting until the Lord Of The Rings passed over before starting on another trilogy, I truly can't wait for them to pop this one out.


Artemis Fowl - the series of "young adult" books is going to burst onto the screen, and now that Harry Potter is over it's going to be good to have something with elves, goblins and fairies in that actually kicks a bit of ass!


The same thing goes for the rumoured "The Spook's Apprentice". Both Spook's Apprentice and Artemis Fowl are childrens/young adult books with the potential to be a lot better as a movie than Harry Potter/Spiderwick/The Bible....sorry - Narnia ever was.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

SPACE MONKEY!

An afternoon when you're bored with Garageband can produce results!

LAND OF THE VERY CONFUSED

The more I think about the popular image/conception of The United States the more I get so confused. It's a bit like someone somewhere had a plan and an idea and then it got Chinese Whispered into stupidity along the way.

Some examples of things that keep me awake at night:

- As mentioned before in this blog, The Statue of Liberty is French. When the US went on that major anti-French thing, why was this left out of it?

- Slavery. White people are still looked on with disdain as it was their ancestors that were guilty of slavery. Lincoln, the guy who stopped slavery in the US was also white. In fact was it not for a white guy stopping it and a bunch of other white guys fighting for it, slavery would have been around a lot longer.

- Judges, new politicians etc swear on the Bible to uphold the Constitution. Which was written by the founding fathers who escaped England to escape a religious state.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

THE RUNAWAYS


Just sat down to watch the film THE RUNAWAYS which I've been hearing about for ages but has just slipped out on DVD...

Maybe the hype didn't quite get there or maybe it will come to Sweden soon. I would have thought with the Swedish obsession with rock bands from the 70s/80s coupled with the fact that Kirsten "Twilight" Stuart is in it would have made it a smash box office hit.

So, my opinion of the film: Fuck it, buy a Runaways album instead, or read the book (Neon Angel). It follows the plan of most rock biog films:

Band forms.
Band.
Band gets big.
Drugs.
Fuck up.
End.

...and miss out anything else that might have happened. (The Doors? Walk The Line? You with me?). The film taught me nothing of the Runaways other than they were steered by a bloke in make up, never spoke unless they were Joan Jett or Cherie Currie - did a bunch of drugs, played some gigs, broke up and that was that.



My knowledge of The Runaways isn't excellent but wasn't Lita Ford in that band? Y'know Lita Ford who is quite famous now and still playing and touring, duet with Ozzy, lived with Nikki Sixx, engaged to Toni Iommi, married Chris Holmes...yeah, THAT Lita Ford. "Kiss Me Deadly" Lita Ford...


She gets one or two lines in the film and the bit at the end of the movie that tells you "what they are doing now" just ignores her.

A film for fans of the band? Nope. For fans of Joan Jett? Nope. REALLY not a film for fans of Lita Ford. Not sure who this film is for really, sorry.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

WE CAME, WE SAW...TWO BITS OF SPUNKY WOOD?


Me and 'ar lad Kristoffer came back from the mayhem in Stockholm - great fun night! Picked up a hitch hiker on the way and marveled at him sleeping through Slayer and Brutal Truth.

Here are a few pics from Gula Vilan - enjoy!


Myself and the legendary Mr.Beard


APES IQ


APES IQ


KRISTOFFER ON THE WAY UP TO STHLM


ZOMBIE SPACE PIRATES


ZOMBIE SPACE PIRATES


JACK (JAKE?) OUR HITCH HIKER

Friday, July 23, 2010

SHITPISSFUCKCUNTCOCKSUCKERMOTHERFUCKER!

I'll taking a break from the usual stuff today to talk about a serious point. Tourette's Syndrome.

Actually I'm dead serious. You see, around the age of 5 or 6 I started to develop what my parents would refer to as "habits". These often manifested as coughs, vocal noises (a short sharp "oo!" was common, leading them to think I wanted to be Michael Jackson), shrugs, head nodding or mouth contortions.

At the time they had no idea what it was and just put it down to "habits". We never thought to see a doctor and just accepted it and sometimes I would get told off when I did it.

These twitches or "ticks" continued into teenage and adult life. Often I did things with my hands or eyes (often causing people to think that I was winking at them), chewing my tongue in moments of concentration or other vocal/physical ticks.

I put it down to just stress or being odd, and people would sometimes look at me in a very odd way, or because of my looks presume that I was on drugs.

It wasn't until I was about 29 and met a girl who did the same things that I found out really what it was. I consulted a doctor not long afterwards and was diagnosed with having Tourette's Syndrome, Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD/ADD) and Obsessive-compulsive Disorder (OCD).

No wonder!


In my teenage years the OCD side took over a lot, I would count my steps as I walked, only step on certain things with certain feet, felt a need to jump and touch leaves on trees and other things. My facial and physical ticks also became defined. Now at 34 the OCD side is calmer but the Tourette's/ADHD is still with me.

I blink/wink my eyes, I chew my tongue, I "flick" my fingers in front on my eyes, sometimes I make small noises and I blow up my nostrils with my mouth. Maybe more, I'm not sure.

Sometimes I am aware I am doing these things, sometimes not. You see, Tourette's is not only incurable but also is a strange disorder because it is not always involuntary yet it is compulsive - you "have" to do it.

Not a lot is known about the disorder but it is thought that it could be passed on by genes and that 1 to 10 in every 1000 people have it.

A lot of people believe that Tourette's is just people who scream obscenities in public for no reason.





I can say that I wish it was this light-hearted and amusing but in reality is far from it.



It is hard for me to video an example of myself displaying these symptoms I have described as if I was to video myself nothing would happen. Instead here is a video of the Big Brother winner Pete who everyone wrote to me and said he was "just like me".



I think he sums it up perfectly because he has gone through the same things I have - until he was older he had no idea why he did the things he did and of course found himself explaining to people over and over. There is a wealth of information on the internet. If you do know anyone who displays the symptoms that has no idea why please refer them as it's hard to feel like an alien alone with this.

More facts HERE

Famous people with Tourettes/OCD/ADHD

Howard Huges
Tim Howard (Man Utd goalie)
David Beckham
Dan Ackroyd
Mozart
Howard Stern

Thursday, July 22, 2010

STOCKHOLM TOMORROW!


Me and the D-Bomb are taking a road trip up to Stockholm to DJ at Gula Villan along with the amazing bands APES IQ, ZOMBIE SPACE PIRATES and SPEED PARADE.

Come by the University and throw cups at us!

Who's going to believe a talking head? Get a job in a sideshow.

Over the past few days I've been listing some of the lesser-known movies from my past.

Many a child lost sleep over these movies in the days of VHS (or Betamax!) The non-at-all scariest scary movies ever!

TERRORVISION (1986)


I lost many nights of sleep after this one and had to remove the TV from my bedroom. All about an alien that gets shot from it's own home planet and finds its was to earth via our satellite dishes! It lives in the TV and kills people...but it's into metal!



TRICK OR TREAT (1986)


A young rocker (Ragman) is picked on by the kids in his school until one day he finds solice in a new unreleased record by his recently deceased rocker hero Sammy Curr (the record given to him by his local DJ, played by Gene Simmons). The record plays itself backwards and the undead Sammy Curr gives him messages of retribution from beyond the grave!! Ozzy pops up in this film also. The music is done by Fast Eddie Clarke's "Fastway"...it's shit but it's great. Now out on DVD - I found it in the bargain box for about a quid.



TROLL (1986)


A troll from a magic land invades an apartment block and by sneaking into people's apartments injects them with a magic ring, turning their apartment into a magical forest - when he's done them all the magical world is set to take over!

The maker of this film says that Harry Potter ripped off ideas from TROLL..hmmmm, nope.

TROLL got two sequels. No idea.



GHOULIES (1985)


Think Gremlins but shitter. Loads of mini-demons invade a town due to kids doing a satanic ritual (those crazy kids) and do crazy stuff, the most memorable scene being jumping up from the toilet (yes, I was scared to do a number two for years and even now when my girlfriend asks me why I won't sit to pee, I can't tell her the truth).

Ghoulies 2 had W.A.S.P do the theme song "Scream Until You Like It" which can be found on the LIVE IN THE RAW album.

Ghoulies got up to Ghoulies 4 before deciding they were too shit to make any more.



RE-ANIMATOR (1985)


Loosely based on the HP Lovecraft story it's a teen-college romp about a couple who gain a strange house mate with a magical potion that can bring the dead back to life...of course not as he intended.

Re-Animator is actually a cult classic and should be owned. They made a sequel and the "Re-Animated" version of the band CARCASS used the theme in their publicity shots.





SOCIETY (1989)


Perhaps one of the weirdest movies I have ever seen - a young boy feels left out and notices something odd in his town. He searches round deciding that there must be something going on that he isn't involved in....and finds the entire town involved in body-melding orgies....



CLASS REUNION (1982)


A National Lampoons horror comedy. Worth a mention as it was pretty fun-scary when I was a lad. A high school (Lizzy Borden High) has a reunion, they played a prank on the school geek years ago and he's back to get even.

Despite Chuck Berry showing up in the film - it was a complete flop.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Die? Guys like me don't die, kid!

After Star Wars there was an avalanche of Sci-Fi B-Movies, so to continue with the theme from the past few days - the best of the shittiest! All of these films got my interest when I looked at the VHS covers in the shop as a kid but when getting them home on a sunny Saturday afternoon and top-loading them into the player....hmm.

BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS (1980)


This movie is often referenced as a tribute to The Magnificent Seven but...know your films and you'll know that actually it's the film the TM7 was based on - Seven Samurai.

Seven aliens and a young hero run about shooting stuff and meet aliens with rubber heads - that kind of thing. John Saxon stars and Hannibal from the A-Team makes the plan all come together.



LASERBLAST (1979)


Another VHS cover that promised so much...used to see this in the video shop all the time and get sucked in.

A young guy gets picked on by everyone until one day a group of aliens leave a laser gun in the desert and he finds it and ends up killing everyone until he becomes an alien himself...and the moral of the story is....if you find an alien laser gun in the desert, don't kill everyone with it or you'll only end up being killed by some stop-motion frog things yourself. Wise words.



THE ICE PIRATES (1984)

A space-comedy of sorts. A bunch of rag-tags have to go to another planet to pick up water as earth is running out. It's funny-ish and so tacky that it'd have to be!



SATURN 3 (1980)


Cashing in on 2001, Aliens and Star Wars - Saturn 3 actually manages to blend them all and it kind of works. I believe that this film was what they had in mind in The Simpsons when Marge gets a machine in the house that does everything for her and eventually tries to kill Homer and replace him.

The crew of a spaceship are terrorised by a crazy robot trying to replace the husband of the surviving couple (played by Kirk Douglas). Not a good review online but I remember this movie keeping me on edge for the duration. I was probably only 11 though. His 80s-tastic Sci-Fi wife is awesome! Just check the trailer!



SPACE RAIDERS (1983)


So cheap budget that they had to use a lot of music and scenes from another film (the previously mentioned "Battle Beyond The Stars"). A notable kid stows away with a pirate type guy - aliens and stuff ensure. And if you notice the above picture nothing that might even resemble Chewbacca. Nope.



THE BLACK HOLE (1979)


Set so far in the future that when you watch it today it's STILL in the future, a spaceship finds a legendary lost ship by a black hole. It's just robots and a mad scientist aboard - ta da! This was a Disney movie so totally kid friendly and had these flying dorky robots in it and a big bag scary robot that gave us all nightmares. Still cool to watch today!



DARK STAR (1974)


Gets my vote - a 2001 piss-take about a bunch of hippies on a spaceship doing nothing and getting into fights with a giant beach ball with feet. It's camp and kitch and perfect.



And the gem in the stone...

GREMLOIDS (also known as HYPERSPACE) (1984)


Lord Buckethead ends up on earth by accident in this totally low-budget Star Wars parody, three years before Space Balls. This clip is the only bit that is worth seeing.



Tomorrow....Horror Movies!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

RED LIGHT/GREEN LIGHT...

I'm sorry, all this talk about tattoos and films and giant chickens and Conway Twitty and I've forgotten to take the piss out of Kissie for ages now!

OK - well, it's a no brainer really. First off, I do feel a bit sorry for the girl as it seems that one of her balloons has popped in this picture leaving her one-breasted. Poor lass, she'll have to go home and pump that one up before she goes out again!


And as we all know she hates smokers and smoking and couldn't be together with a smoker. What nice friends she has to put up this pic on her (the friend) blog.


Well, The silicon wonder is starting off a singer career. A few tips....


That of sort of wireless microphone, this is how it works.

Red light at the base - off.
Green light on the base - on
No light on the base (like in the above pic) - They didn't even bother to put batteries in it. Meaning that not only did they not trust her to sing for real but also didn't trust her to be able to understand an on/off switch and have her real voice lurking out over the speakers.

That's enough for today as I have to go out and fika with my friends, buy a bunch of shoes and take pictures of them, get drunk at a Stureplan club and then have my bum botoxed.

So, what are elves good for?

Around the late-70s to the late mid-80s there was quite a slue of animated fantasy and sci-fi movies for us geeks to consume.

Arguably the master of these was Ralph Bakshi who is probably most well known for his animated version of Lord Of The Rings. Anyone who has seen this and Peter Jackson's film version will notice that basically Jackson has taken the animated version as a reference point and pretty much re-shot it (shot for shot) with human actors.

Before Lord Of The Rings Bakshi had made some 70's campy-cartoon-soft-porn with Fritz The Cat and some other projects.


In 1977 he released WIZARDS which was a land mark at the time. It's a fantasy/Sci-Fi movie with elves and wizards and guns and tanks and all that kind of stuff with some not-very-subtle comparissons to the nazis and a technological society.

Because he ran out of money for a lot of the big scenes in the film, Bakshi used "Rotoscoping" (drawing over live action films with animation) using already produced movies such as Zulu. These scene also showed up at the end of Lord Of The Rings when they too ran out of cash.





So, onto 1978 and LORD OF THE RINGS.


As already mentioned this film uses a lot of rotoscoping and they ran out of cash so only ended up making "Fellowship" and a half of "Two Towers" - there is in fact an animated version of both Return Of The Kind AND The Hobbit, you can find them on Youtube but this was news to me a few moments ago...bookmarked, report soon!

The version was awesome and in many ways to me preferred to the movies and no one is camp and wussy in it and it ends on a big fight instead of all the waffle that goes afterwards.



In 1983 Bakshi returned with FIRE AND ICE


Another swords and sorcery romp, a little less camp this time though but still featuring a lot of big-boobed warrior maidens. Awesome.

Rumour is that Rob Rodriguez is going to collaborate with Bakshi on a live action remake in the near future.



Leaving Bakshi to his legacy now...

1981 saw the Canadian film HEAVY METAL


This film was a collection of short fantasy and sci-fi rides with a soundtrack that you can still see once a year at Sweden Rock Festival, Journey, Blue Oyster Cult, Grand Funk etc.

I (of course) have it on VHS somewhere in the archives but can't watch it any longer after South Park lampooned it in the episode "Major Boobage" - compare the clips below (sorry the only one I could find for South Park was with music by The Beatles....not on the original episode).





Moving totally into the future all the way to 1985 and STARCHASER - LEGEND OF ORIN.


One of the earliest films to use computer animation mixed with traditional animation and shot in 3D for the cinemas. It's about a young slave boy that finds a magic sword and escapes and finds this rouge-type guy with a spaceship and talking robots and stuff and....well, Star Wars basically. Awesome though.



Tomorrow....Sci Fi movies of the 70s/80s!

Monday, July 19, 2010

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women

These days with technology being what it is, it's very easy to make a good swords & sorcery film with bucket loads off special effects and monsters and all that.

When I was a nipper we had none of that but would have killed for it! I was a complete fantasy geek in my early teens - played all the role playing games, the table top games and spent most of my Saturdays hanging out at Games Workshop.


There were a few fantasy movies out there, which I will now pay tribute to so that y'all can see how much better things are today.

WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM


The VHS cover for this 1985 shoe-string budget fantasy looked awesome but the film...hmmm.



Apparently they made a sequel.....

KRULL


Both Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane turn up in the 1983 Fantasy/Sci-fi. It was actually kinda awesome at the time, not recommended to re-watch by any means.



HAWK THE SLAYER

From 1980 was kind of Star Wars and Lord Of The Rings revenge/evil brother plot with the worst script and effects ever. The elf "Crow" was kind of cool though with his mad rapid-shot skills...and it had Jack Palance in it!



LEGEND


OK, I actually have this on DVD. By Ridley Scott and starring Tom Cruise it's a camp-as-you-like story from 1985 about a young man who fights the Darkness. Not the band, but Darkness personified, played wonderfully by Tim Curry.



DRAGONSLAYER

This 1981 movie was actually a Disney Production and when I first saw it remember it being very dark, brooding and scary. So scary in fact that when they tried to show it in my school as part of film club they had to turn in off after a few minutes. Pussies.



THE BEASTMASTER

From 1982 it told the tale of a royal child that was taken from his family and grew up in the wild with beasts for friends. Bit like Crocodile Dundee but with swords and stuff - and the scary no-mouth things that eat people.



CONAN/RED SONJA

Conan...what is best in life.

"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women...I'll be baaack!"



THE DARK CRYSTAL


From 1982 - Jim Henson and Brian Froud collaborate on a film starring only puppets. I have it on DVD, the special 2-disc version because I actually think this film is pure genius. Of course many people are familiar with it and their next collaboration "Labyrinth".



A sequel is set for next year called "The Power Of The Dark Crystal" I'm excited!

Tomorrow - Animated fantasy films!

Sharez it fukko!